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Know What Is Going Into Your Mind

February 2, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

Part of knowing where you are is knowing what you are doing with your thoughts.  Many people look to their childhood, teen years, or past experiences to describe why they do the things they do.  These excuses begin to in grain themselves into your subconscious mind and they keep you from becoming who you were created to be.  Let me explain.

A person I know believes every person in her family hates her because she believed her mother hated her.  When her mother passed away she found a note in her baby book where her mom explained she really didn’t want a girl.  Her mind stopped on that phrase and it has increased to everyone hating her.  What she fails to mention is the rest of her life.  Her mother may not have wanted girls but she got two, both of whom knew the boys were favored as they were growing up, and both who were raised and loved just the same.  One sister loves her family and spend time with them every year, the other shuns them and blames them for her troubles.

When you put bad, evil, and scary lies into your head, what do you believe will come out of your thoughts.  If you watch only news TV, Fox or CNN, do you think you will be more or less likely to respond hatefully to the other sides arguments?  You will more than likely be aggressive toward anyone who does not share your point of view.  I am not saying you need to stop watching the news, that is a start, but not what I am saying.  What I am saying is, you need to be aware of what you are putting in your mind.

  1. Get control of your thoughts.  When you find yourself dwelling on an untruth or something you don’t want to think about write that thought on a 3×5 card and write lie or un-truth or stop or whatever will help you realize that is a bad thought.  On the other side of the card write the truth and start reading that and putting it in your mind.
  2. Change the channel.  Watching television can depress you many studies show.  And others show that stopping can make you feel better about your world.  I assume if your kid sits on the couch and watches one man have sex with different women until he finds the one he likes (The Bachelor) he or she will assume that is the best way to find their soul mate and maybe you will too.
  3. Read good books.  This is a hard one, because over 40% of all Americans didn’t read books unless they are for work or school.  From my own life I know most people read infrequently at best.
    • When you read look at the comments, praise, bibliography, or other content to find other authors to read.
    • Don’t get caught up trying to read crap. I started trying to read from the Great Books of the Western World and realized I didn’t need to know that material. My brother ate it up, but it is not for me.
    •  Don’t overwhelm yourself.  Just start by reading ten minutes a day and go from there.
  4. Don’t listen to negative people. Friends and family are a trap.  Spend as little time with the negative ones as you can.  I know this is hard when your father is a world renowned cynic and you feel obligated to see him every week, but you have to take responsibility for yourself. If he is tearing you down then you need to cut his time down to a minimum just to show respect.  If a friend is this way then reduce the time you spend with them and eventually just stop seeing them.  It isn’t a marriage, you don’t have to have a reason to get new friends.

Start becoming aware of what goes into your mind and take control of it.

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Know Where You Really Are In Life

February 1, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

To get anywhere you must first know where you are.  As much as taking responsibility for yourself is the first step to being a leader, knowing where you really are in life is the second.  Let me explain.

When I was in my 20′s I spent four years in the US Navy.  While I was on the ship I did everything I could to grow as a leader.  I learned all the systems and procedures.  I worked on every qualification I could get.  But I neglected on thing, studying for the advancement exams.  While I was busy learning about my ship and everything on it, my peers were studying for advancement.  I knew so much about the ship my higher ranked peers had to stand watches under my authority because of my qualifications.  They did outrank me, but they did not have the respect attributed to the watches I stood.

Leadership isn’t about money, it is about respect.  I couldn’t learn anything from Donald Trump because I don’t respect him.  If people don’t respect you, you can’t lead them.  Knowing where you are in life leads you to growth. Even if you work in the mail room, learning your trade, doing your job well, and treating people with respect will allow you to lead people.

The flip side is where are you mentally.  I got out of the Navy because I knew I could do more with my life outside of the structured environment.  Many of the guys who advanced ahead of me stayed in because they saw themselves as thriving within the structure.  My brother-in-law just retired after 20 years in the Navy, and he thrived not only physically but mentally in that structure.  He was also a leader of men and women.  His list of accomplishments was longer for things he did outside of his duties than within his duties because he also knew that the Navy was not his be-all-end-all.

No matter where you are in life, you can become a leader if you want to.  It may take time, it will take learning, but when you wake up in ten years and you realize you aren’t where you started it will all be worth it.

Filed Under: Leadership Basics, Personal Growth · Tagged: , , ,

Get Out Of Your Own Way

January 16, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

You have probably heard the saying from the King James version of Proverbs 23, “As a man thinks in his heart so is he.” And while most modern versions don’t translate the phrase that way, it is still a true statement about you and me.  What we put into our minds is what is going to come out of our thoughts and actions. Take sports for example.  What are some factors people think about when they play sports? Weather conditions, location (home or away), who the players are, the win-loss record, and many other factors that are processed over and over every week.  But if a player starts to think about those factors, he or she has already lost the game.  The same goes for us.  If you and I start thinking about the factors and conditions; I’m to young, I can’t write, I’m to old, what if my beliefs are challenged, and what ever else you think, we have already lost.

To turn it around we have to take responsibility for ourselves.  When you realize you are the only person you can control and you take responsibility for that, you will begin to change.  You can only control you and no one else can control you, unless you let them. Chose what you watch, chose what you listen to, chose who you hang around, and you will see a difference in your life.  When I stopped watching the political news everyday I began to see a change in the way I thought about politics and people on the other side.  Instead of thinking of them as stupid or bad or dumb, I began to see their point of view. I also realized that most politicians are just talkers who have no goal but to stay in power, so now I have no party affiliation. Sorry for the digression, but don’t miss my point.  When I started taking control of what went into my mind, my thoughts changed.

Paul ends his letter to the Philippians by telling them to think about the good things,

Finally, my friends, keep your minds on whatever is true, pure, right, holy, friendly, and proper. Don’t ever stop thinking about what is truly worthwhile and worthy of praise. You know the teachings I gave you, and you know what you heard me say and saw me do. So follow my example. And God, who gives peace, will be with you. (Philippians 4:8-9 CEV)

Put the good stuff in your head and the best stuff will come out of you.

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Discipline Yourself

January 13, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

Self discipline can be one of the hardest changes to make because it is born out of habit.  We are habitual creatures, so anything that breaks our habits is viewed as a nuisance.  When we understand that we need to change we can begin to look for things to help us.

First of all has to be books.  We are a book buying society.  Whether or not we read the books we buy is another story, and that is part of the self-discipline problem.  If you buy a book to help you then at least take the time to read it.  You can read five pages a day and complete a 200 page book in a month and a half, so reading is not hard.

Next you can get apps on you computer or phone to help teach you discipline.  I have an app that I enter every bite of food that goes in my mouth on.  It tells me how many calories i need, what I take in, and how much exercise I have done.  I use it because I needed discipline in that area, and it is great.

Find someone to keep you accountable.  If you can’t hire a coach then get a friend, but make sure he or she is willing to ask you tough questions, and make sure you are ready to give truthful answers.  If you are not willing to be honest, you will never do this.

The bible says Knowledge begins with respect for the Lord. but Foolish people hate wisdom and discipline. (Proverbs 1:7 NCV) Get smart, learn to discipline yourself, and get growing.

Filed Under: Leadership, Personal Growth · Tagged: , , , ,

Celebrating Lent As An Evangelical

February 3, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

Celebrating Lent as an Evangelical can be awkward but also eye-opening.  It can be awkward because most of the people you know will think you are weird or trying to earn God’s favor.  It can be eye-opening because you can learn what really has a hold on your life, and how far you are from putting Christ first.

My family observed lent for the first time in 2008.  We gave up television and video games and spent much more time praying and studying the bible together. We fast for six days taking Saturday or Sunday off because there are actually 46 days in the seven weeks from Ash Wednesday to Easter.

Wikipedia says,

Lent in the Western Christian tradition, is the period of the liturgical year leading up to Easter. The traditional purpose of Lent is the preparation of the believer — through prayer, penitence, almsgiving and self-denial — for the annual commemoration during Holy Week of the Death and Resurrection of Jesus, which recalls the events linked to the Passion of Christ and culminates in Easter, the celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Conventionally, it is described as being forty days long, though different denominations calculate the forty days differently. The forty days represent the time that, according to the Bible, Jesus spent in the desert before the beginning of his public ministry, where he endured temptation by Satan.

Why Celebrate Lent?

While it is not required that we celebrate Lent as Christians, and yes we can take forty days and fast any time we want.  For me doing it during this time helps prepare for Easter and the celebration of Christ rising again.  For many of us abstaining from anything could be a big breakthrough in our faith because we over indulge so much in American Christian society.

What Do You Need To Do?

The simplest answer is find something that has become a habit at least or a sin at worst in your life and give it up (fast from it) for the weeks between Ash Wednesday and Holy Week (February 22nd – April 7th 2012).  Use the time you would have spent eating, watching television, or playing video games to get closer to God through prayer and bible study.

Don’t make it a law.  We like the idea of taking one day off because it helps put what we are doing in perspective.  We are not doing it to earn God’s favor, but to use the time we would spend doing other things to get closer in our relationship with Jesus.

I hopes this helps, and If you do Celebrate Lent and an Evangelical leave a message in the comments below

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