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Do you know what you are truly passionate about?  When you know what really gets you started every day you can focus you energy better.  When you discover your passion you are discovering what God created you to do.

Some short exercises to get you started

Think about what gives you the most pleasure. Is it surfing, books, knitting, carving wood, children, or music? Make a list of all the things you can think of that you really like to do.  I spoke in an earlier post about some of the people I know who do what they love.  These are people who just decided it was time to stop giving everything they had to a job, and start giving to themselves, their families, and others.

What if I don’t have a passion?  You do, I know somewhere deep inside there is passion about something.  For me it was going all the way back to high school.  I loved to write, but never had anyone tell me I could do it for a living.  I love to act, but no one ever told me giving talks could stem from that. This is not a quick exercise, this will take time and effort, but will pay great dividends for you in the long run.

On of the things Tony Robbins talks about is asking yourself the correct questions.  “What am I passionate about,” is a good and correct question and it wake you up at night with answers.  Some others may be:

• What will I be remembered for?
• What do I love to do?
• What would I do if I could do anything?
• What gives me the most satisfaction of knowing I’ve done it?
• What motivates me?
• Who inspires me?

There are many more questions you can ask yourself but these will get you started.

Your next step is narrowing down the list.  Take time to do the things on the list.  If painting is one of your passions then get a canvas and start painting.  Take a class at the local community college, or get an instructional video from the library or bookstore.  If you’re not van Gogh at first doesn’t mean you can’t do it, it just means you need to practice.  Yes practice.  I know we want instant gratification in the 21st century, but learning to delay gratification will help you learn to do the things you really love.

Find what you do best and learn to do it so well people will pay you to do it.  If you really stink at painting on canvas, but can paint on large walls then mural painting is what you need to focus on.  People will pay you to do faux finishes and murals in their houses faster than they will pay you for bad art.  You need to find your niche and stick with it.

What ever it is, find your passion and do it.

We have to first realize who we are was created by our past.  No you couldn’t choose to be born somewhere else to other parents.  No you couldn’t choose where you lived or who you lived with as a child.  You are right now who you are because of your past and there is nothing you can do about that.  Next you have to draw a line today and let it all go.  This may take counseling or coaching, but you have to let the past be the past starting now.  Now you have to start taking responsibility for what you do from this point forward. This isn’t an easy task, but it will be rewarding the more you see yourself change and grow and move away from the blame game.

Some things you can do are:

Read good books – When I started my journey I read John Maxwell, Zig Ziglar, and Jim Rohn.  Get The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. Or any other book that you believe will help you begin the journey.  John Maxwell said, “What you are reading today is who you will become in ten years.”

Stop watching the news or television at all – This is one of the strongest addictions for people to break.  Think about what you watch then think about how you react in certain situations.  I saw a survey once that said it only takes five minutes per day of bad news to make people believe those things will happen to them.   While I do still watch sports I got rid of satellite and bought a Roku Streaming Video Player so I could watch internet TV and movies instead of regular TV.

Ask for help.  – Coaching and counseling are great ways to help you get out of a rut.  If you can’t afford either of those, many pastors will help you for free, but you usually have to be a member of the church, and show some sort of effort to change.

When you figure out you are responsible for your life and your future you become a grown-up.

Caveat from the first paragraph *Do I believe the government makes it hard on people, I absolutely do.  But I also believe to  many people use the government excuse as a crutch.  The government favors the corporation there is no doubt, but the government does not make you smoke, eat cheeseburgers, take drugs, or believe you can’t.  If people really want to change they need to start by getting out of their own way.

Prayer – I know this is cliché, and is obvious to many, but prayer really does work.  When we realize we have some one who has takes all our scars, we don’t need to hold onto them any longer.  Jesus said he will give us rest, and we need to let him.  Once is not enough.  You can’t say I prayed once and it didn’t work.  You need to pray and listen until it changes or God gives you another answer.  Don’t give up.

Change What You Think About - If you are wallowing in your own self-pity over something you can’t change then stop.  You can only change yourself, you can’t change your boss, your kids, or your spouse, so stop trying.

Change Your Circumstances – While I will never in any way say you should get a divorce, I will tell you to get marriage counseling.  Other than that it’s fair game with friends and family.  Don’t go to thanksgiving if grandpa cusses you every year.  Don’t hang out with people who are bringing you down.  Don;’t ever be around anyone who would belittle you or your children.

Deal With The Person – I know this goes way beyond most people’s passive-aggressive nature, but just telling the person you don’t appreciate what they are doing will make you feel better about yourself.

You have to decide what you’re going to do with your emotions, because no one else can.

When you don’t love what you do you are setting yourself up for failure.  You find everything wrong with your job, your boss, your co-workers, and eventually you will find yourself looking for another job.  I don’t want you to think that just quitting your job and trying something else is the answer, but trying other things while you are still drawing a paycheck is a good way to figure it out.  With the exception of a job I took for three months just to make money, it took me four years to get back the income I lost when I just up and quit my job.  So from the experience I had I suggest you find the income in what you like before you quit.

You can make money at just about anything.  I have a friend who makes hand carved ink pens but he still has a day job.  He is building the business while he has a back-up income.  Don’t let your  belief that you don’t have and quantifiable skills stop you.  I know people who paint murals in people’s houses, book lovers who work part-time at Barnes and Noble, and guys who teach surf lessons on the weekends.  there are things you can do while you are working to get started, but don’t think it will happen over night.  There may be some growing you need to do first so go with the process and never give up on your dream.

 Make a list today of what you are good at, and what you love to do.

A person I know believes every person in her family hates her because she believed her mother hated her.  When her mother passed away she found a note in her baby book where her mom explained she really didn’t want a girl.  Her mind stopped on that phrase and it has increased to everyone hating her.  What she fails to mention is the rest of her life.  Her mother may not have wanted girls but she got two, both of whom knew the boys were favored as they were growing up, and both who were raised and loved just the same.  One sister loves her family and spend time with them every year, the other shuns them and blames them for her troubles.

When you put bad, evil, and scary lies into your head, what do you believe will come out of your thoughts.  If you watch only news TV, Fox or CNN, do you think you will be more or less likely to respond hatefully to the other sides arguments?  You will more than likely be aggressive toward anyone who does not share your point of view.  I am not saying you need to stop watching the news, that is a start, but not what I am saying.  What I am saying is, you need to be aware of what you are putting in your mind.

1. Get control of your thoughts.  When you find yourself dwelling on an untruth or something you don’t want to think about write that thought on a 3×5 card and write lie or un-truth or stop or whatever will help you realize that is a bad thought.  On the other side of the card write the truth and start reading that and putting it in your mind.
2. Change the channel.  Watching television can depress you many studies show.  And others show that stopping can make you feel better about your world.  I assume if your kid sits on the couch and watches one man have sex with different women until he finds the one he likes (The Bachelor) he or she will assume that is the best way to find their soul mate and maybe you will too.
3. Read good books.  This is a hard one, because over 40% of all Americans didn’t read books unless they are for work or school.  From my own life I know most people read infrequently at best.
• When you read look at the comments, praise, bibliography, or other content to find other authors to read.
• Don’t get caught up trying to read crap. I started trying to read from the Great Books of the Western World and realized I didn’t need to know that material. My brother ate it up, but it is not for me.
•  Don’t overwhelm yourself.  Just start by reading ten minutes a day and go from there.
4. Don’t listen to negative people. Friends and family are a trap.  Spend as little time with the negative ones as you can.  I know this is hard when your father is a world renowned cynic and you feel obligated to see him every week, but you have to take responsibility for yourself. If he is tearing you down then you need to cut his time down to a minimum just to show respect.  If a friend is this way then reduce the time you spend with them and eventually just stop seeing them.  It isn’t a marriage, you don’t have to have a reason to get new friends.

Start becoming aware of what goes into your mind and take control of it.

When I was in my 20′s I spent four years in the US Navy.  While I was on the ship I did everything I could to grow as a leader.  I learned all the systems and procedures.  I worked on every qualification I could get.  But I neglected on thing, studying for the advancement exams.  While I was busy learning about my ship and everything on it, my peers were studying for advancement.  I knew so much about the ship my higher ranked peers had to stand watches under my authority because of my qualifications.  They did outrank me, but they did not have the respect attributed to the watches I stood.

Leadership isn’t about money, it is about respect.  I couldn’t learn anything from Donald Trump because I don’t respect him.  If people don’t respect you, you can’t lead them.  Knowing where you are in life leads you to growth. Even if you work in the mail room, learning your trade, doing your job well, and treating people with respect will allow you to lead people.

The flip side is where are you mentally.  I got out of the Navy because I knew I could do more with my life outside of the structured environment.  Many of the guys who advanced ahead of me stayed in because they saw themselves as thriving within the structure.  My brother-in-law just retired after 20 years in the Navy, and he thrived not only physically but mentally in that structure.  He was also a leader of men and women.  His list of accomplishments was longer for things he did outside of his duties than within his duties because he also knew that the Navy was not his be-all-end-all.

No matter where you are in life, you can become a leader if you want to.  It may take time, it will take learning, but when you wake up in ten years and you realize you aren’t where you started it will all be worth it.

To turn it around we have to take responsibility for ourselves.  When you realize you are the only person you can control and you take responsibility for that, you will begin to change.  You can only control you and no one else can control you, unless you let them. Chose what you watch, chose what you listen to, chose who you hang around, and you will see a difference in your life.  When I stopped watching the political news everyday I began to see a change in the way I thought about politics and people on the other side.  Instead of thinking of them as stupid or bad or dumb, I began to see their point of view. I also realized that most politicians are just talkers who have no goal but to stay in power, so now I have no party affiliation. Sorry for the digression, but don’t miss my point.  When I started taking control of what went into my mind, my thoughts changed.

Paul ends his letter to the Philippians by telling them to think about the good things,

Finally, my friends, keep your minds on whatever is true, pure, right, holy, friendly, and proper. Don’t ever stop thinking about what is truly worthwhile and worthy of praise. You know the teachings I gave you, and you know what you heard me say and saw me do. So follow my example. And God, who gives peace, will be with you. (Philippians 4:8-9 CEV)

Put the good stuff in your head and the best stuff will come out of you.

First of all has to be books.  We are a book buying society.  Whether or not we read the books we buy is another story, and that is part of the self-discipline problem.  If you buy a book to help you then at least take the time to read it.  You can read five pages a day and complete a 200 page book in a month and a half, so reading is not hard.

Next you can get apps on you computer or phone to help teach you discipline.  I have an app that I enter every bite of food that goes in my mouth on.  It tells me how many calories i need, what I take in, and how much exercise I have done.  I use it because I needed discipline in that area, and it is great.

Find someone to keep you accountable.  If you can’t hire a coach then get a friend, but make sure he or she is willing to ask you tough questions, and make sure you are ready to give truthful answers.  If you are not willing to be honest, you will never do this.

The bible says Knowledge begins with respect for the Lord. but Foolish people hate wisdom and discipline. (Proverbs 1:7 NCV) Get smart, learn to discipline yourself, and get growing.

My family observed lent for the first time in 2008.  We gave up television and video games and spent much more time praying and studying the bible together. We fast for six days taking Saturday or Sunday off because there are actually 46 days in the seven weeks from Ash Wednesday to Easter.

Wikipedia says,

Lent in the Western Christian tradition, is the period of the liturgical year leading up to Easter. The traditional purpose of Lent is the preparation of the believer — through prayer, penitence, almsgiving and self-denial — for the annual commemoration during Holy Week of the Death and Resurrection of Jesus, which recalls the events linked to the Passion of Christ and culminates in Easter, the celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Conventionally, it is described as being forty days long, though different denominations calculate the forty days differently. The forty days represent the time that, according to the Bible, Jesus spent in the desert before the beginning of his public ministry, where he endured temptation by Satan.

Why Celebrate Lent?

While it is not required that we celebrate Lent as Christians, and yes we can take forty days and fast any time we want.  For me doing it during this time helps prepare for Easter and the celebration of Christ rising again.  For many of us abstaining from anything could be a big breakthrough in our faith because we over indulge so much in American Christian society.

What Do You Need To Do?

The simplest answer is find something that has become a habit at least or a sin at worst in your life and give it up (fast from it) for the weeks between Ash Wednesday and Holy Week (February 22nd – April 7th 2012).  Use the time you would have spent eating, watching television, or playing video games to get closer to God through prayer and bible study.

Don’t make it a law.  We like the idea of taking one day off because it helps put what we are doing in perspective.  We are not doing it to earn God’s favor, but to use the time we would spend doing other things to get closer in our relationship with Jesus.

I hopes this helps, and If you do Celebrate Lent and an Evangelical leave a message in the comments below