I heard Bill Bennett  say that a couple of years ago and it has stuck with me ever since.  When we were children we wanted everything we saw. We would beg our parents to buy this or that and many times if they could they would.  Other than the Star Wars toys, I don’t remember all the things my parents bought me when I was a child.  I do remember going camping, fishing, hunting, and family trips.

As adults many of us have not grown up, I am included in that.  We want everything we see and if we can get it we do.  As a whole we Americans have spent ourselves into a very bad place, and while this is not about our debt it can be applied.  At some point we must shed our childhood ways and begin to think like adults.  We have to stop buying everything in sight for us or our kids. When we focus on getting more stuff we enter the “Rat Race” and begin to live for the stuff, and not just live.

What will your children remember when they are grown.  Will they remember the time you spent with them or the things you bought them?  Will you be able to spend time with them when you are older or will you have to keep working to pay for your stuff?

I know this is a short post, and maybe I am just talking to myself.  If you have any thoughts on this I would love to hear them.

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The above question was posed by my youngest son after some friends had an invisible fence installed at their new home.  The question has stuck with me for a couple of weeks now and, me being me, I have pondered what some of the invisible fences look like in our lives.

Other People

One of the strongest invisible fences are other people.  We let others dictate our moods, our thoughts, and many times our jobs.  Many of the people in your life that put up the fences don’t even know they are affecting you so you live behind the fence by yourself while they are out having fun and roaming the neighborhood.  Don’t let others dictate your life, listen to your still small voice and break free.

Money

I wrote on this the other day.  I called it the rat race then but if you are running around the yard behind the invisible fence of money, you are still not going anywhere. I know, you got a house and all the food you can eat, but are you really living?  Get out and share some time with your puppies.

Beliefs

This is a hard one for people who live in the United States.  Your beliefs can separate you from others that can add to your life.  If you decide people who do not believe what you believe are all stupid or evil, your fence may be pretty strong.  The good news is that any fence can be dug up.  Go make a friend with someone who is out of your belief area. Go cut the cord and go run around the neighborhood.  Find out what other dogs are roaming around free and join them.

I don’t know what your fence looks like or where it comes from.  What I do know is that if you do not do something about it you will never become the person you were created to be.

Seth Godin: Maybe You Need New Friends

Personal success is a desired outcome for many people whether success is home schooling your children or making millions of dollars.  Personal success is about going out and doing something to get your desired result not complaining about it and hoping reading a blog or book will be the magic bullet to get your to your desired result.  I know two people who want to start their own business and they have gone to over 10 conferences in the last five years on setting goals and designing their lives but they refuse to actually do anything and spend every dime they get to eat out or buy some new thing.

As a coach I talk to people all the time  like this.  This was me for a long time, because it is just easier to complain about my miserable job than it is to just do something.  One day I just jumped.  I told my wife I was never going to get my practice started if I continued to flounder at my job.  We knuckled down for a couple of months and I did it.  That was two years ago this week.  I can’t tell you it has been easy or that every month is easy; but it sure is better waking up every morning looking at my two son’s and knowing that I am affecting them positively everyday than it was getting up looking at a road full of cars and doing something that I had hated for ten years.

Every person has a reason to be on this earth.  It is not the same for every one but you are here for a reason.  You have a certain set of talents that will help you do certain tasks.  Starting a business may not be for you, but there is something out there that you fit like a long-lost puzzle piece and you need to find what that is.  It takes effort to find what your are designed to do.  Lazy people won’t take the time or make the effort find their calling.  The reason is that lazy people want to complain so they are getting the best out of their job for themselves by complaining about it instead of changing it.  If you are like most people then stay at your job.  Stay and be miserable and complain about the boss and your coworkers that you just hate.

The good news is that, laziness is a curse that can be overcome.  Start finding the good in the job you have.  This will improve your view of life right off the bat.  Second start dreaming about what you love to do or what you wanted to do as a kid.  Look at the world differently by looking at the beauty in every day things. Turn off the TV.  Go for a walk whether its is in a park or just down the street.

Stop letting laziness control your life.  I know it’s hard to be a contributing member of society but how about giving it a shot.  Take care of the things that need to be taken care of, stop looking for the magic bullet and do something to advance your life

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I don’t know how many times I have heard this and it never stuck.  When you spend your time trying to be someone you’re not, you begin to hate what you are.  So many people go to jobs they hate every day because they are trying to keep up an appearance that they believe they need in order for people to like them.

If you will just be the person you are created to be then you will have more peace than a house or car or money can buy.

You know deep down inside you were created to do something big.  Whether that is raise a family, start a business, write a book, build a building, care for the sick, or any number of ten thousand things I could name.  You were created to do something.

I don’t know what you were created to do.  I just know you were.  Will that thing come to you overnight, I don’t know.  It took me ten years to figure out where I am supposed to be and it was the place I thought I needed to get away from.   You just need to start moving in the direction your small inside voice is leading. No it is not telling you to leave your spouse and family and run off to Jamaica with your secretary.  That is another voice and you need to get control of it.

DON’T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB!

Let it pay for where you want to go.  You are going to need start-up capital or you may need to pay off those bills that are stifling you now.  Either way quitting your day job will only cause unneeded discomfort and hurt.  Once you know where you are going the day job becomes easier and less stifling because you are free to be yourself in your calling.  Eventually your calling will become a full-time job and you can guide it from there.

Tell me what you think.

Steve

Found this post today Feb 23, 2010 and wanted to add it to this post.  I think it adds to what I am saying here.  The Authenticity Bubble

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Here is a great example of what I am saying.

• “I quit my job” applause (37signals.com)