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This phrase actually came from Tiger Woods. At his news conference before the 2010 Masters.  He actually said that his father told him he must, “Learn to help himself, before he helped others.”  But I decided I liked “lead” instead of “help” so thanks Tiger for the quote.

I have experienced many types of leaders through my life.  Many of them never really lead as much as they told those that worked for them what to do. They then went about taking credit for the good, and giving blame for the bad.  I worked with a man once that complained about Dr. John C. Maxwell’s writing on leadership, but never read any of it.  I would suggest he never learned to lead himself.

Discipline is hard, but discipline is a must for anyone who wants to be successful at whatever they do.  If you are always late, it is because you are not disciplined enough to be on time.  Not because your family is a late family and you always have been.   When I was in the Navy I learned this lesson first hand.  I was relieved from my watch every day by a man who was consistently late.  I reported the man several times and he was moved to other watch sections but his tardiness never ceased.  He was finally taken to Captains Mast and reduced in rank before being released from the Navy.  His inability to be on time cost him his job, and he never knew why.

Control your tongue. Swearing is one of the best signs of an  undisciplined mouth.  In the bible we are told that the tongue is like the rudder of a ship.  A rudder is small in comparison to the ship, but turns the thing.  Your tongue can lead you down roads you do not want to travel.  Swearing is not the only sign of an undisciplined tongue.  Arguing, sarcasm, complaining, and gossip are other signs.  No one wants to be around someone who complains all the time.  It’s just not fun.  Learn to control what you say and do by Forming Better Habits which can take some time, but pay huge dividends in the long run.

Discipline is more than being on time and controlling how you talk.  But being on time is a good start and controlling what you say is a good start.  Make a list of things you need to do and stick to the list this way you can be encouraged by you progress, and prodded when you slack.  Always remember, you can only accomplish something if you do it.   The minute you put it off, you will stop and lose your momentum.

From Mary Jo Asmus  Stuck? Admit It and Ask For Help

Taking a risk when you are a teenager or twenty something is easy.  You have no cares and no real recourse if you fail.  Actually people expect that age group to take a lot more risks than people who have matured into their thirties or beyond.  After we “grow up” we are supposed to rely on our job, with our HMO and 401k for security. We are supposed to settle down and just fit into those decisions we made as teenagers or twenty somethings to become something we hate at thirty or forty.

Chances are if you scrubbed the 401k and HMO  and began learning to invest your money you could make more of a return and start living off what you invested. The problem is that the majority of people will complain about their job, their health care, and 401K, but never do anything to change it because the refuse to take a risk.

Helen Keller said, “Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”

Think about the 9.7% of the American population that relied on their “job” for security.  Right now if the unemployed had just a couple of other income streams or had learned to manage their own money better we would not see so many foreclosures and bankruptcies.

Do you know how to invest your own money, or take care of your 401k so it does not lose all its value. Take the risk and learn to manage your own money, I use Investools (I get no money for telling you that).  While they do try to get you to upgrade their service, their basic service is fine, and the introductory class is great to help you get started managing your own money.

What can you do better than anyone else.  What little thing can you do on the side that will help you start to make an alternative income. Take a risk and start your own side business or find that job that you have always wanted but keeping up your current lifestyle won’t allow.  If your house is to big for your job, take the risk and get out of the house. Downsize to something you can afford.

Don’t stop taking risks because it is what someone your age is supposed to do.  Take a calculated risk and plan your steps so the risk is manageable.

I understand that you have to get your work done.  I understand that you need a job and in this economy anyone who has one is going to do what it takes to keep it.  But you have to ask, “Do I have this job because I like it or do I have it to keep up my appearance”?  The rat race starts when you begin keeping up appearances.  If you are showing up everyday at a job you hate and working on projects you hate because you need to keep your stuff then this treadmill is just going to run and run and run.

Let Go of Some Stuff

The more stuff you have, the harder you have to work to try to keep it.  give away some stuff and downsize.  One blog I read is Mind the Beginner.  Christiaan Wrote a post last year outlining a 100 item challenge and then revisited it earlier this year. The minimalist view is that you can live with only 100 things in your life.  If we each only had 100 things imagine how much easier our lives would be. You would have to decide between socks and a vase to go on the bookshelf, or even a book itself.  In the second post he finishes with a method of getting rid of 100 things.  I know this will fill up some landfills but look at what we waste now.  What are you racing to keep and why?  My story is one of moving and having to down size due to less space.  We moved into a two bedroom condo from a three bedroom townhouse.  We still have stuff in piles but it is getting closer to being gone.

Race to Really Win

What can your life really mean?  If you can’t quit your job, what can you do to make an impact where you are?  If you go to work everyday with a bad attitude then you are going to be miserable no matter what.  Can you find 3 things every day to be thankful for, then share them with others at your job?  If you are bringing work home then get a cd series or audio book you can listen to on your way home to help you wind down.  Remember, the more you look at your spouse when you are angry, the more you will get angry when you look at him or her.  Think snowball.  You can roll it either way.  You can unwind the snowball making it smaller and more manageable, or you can roll it around and make it as big as you want until you explode.  The choice is yours.

Don’t let the race run you down.  You can control how you think and how you respond to work and to stress, and to that boss that is always on you.  The way you think begins with what you focus on.  If you hold your hand up to your face you only see your hand.  If you hold your hand out at arm’s length you may see your hand, but will be able to see the world around you as well.  You may have to run the race, but you don’t have to participate in the stuff that goes along with it.

What can you do this week to let go of some stuff and to get out of the rat race?

Image courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/csatch/ / CC BY 2.0