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We Need To Help Others Grow Spiritually

May 9, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Romans 15:14-15a says, My friends, I am sure that you are very good and that you have all the knowledge you need to teach each other.But I have spoken to you plainly and have tried to remind you of some things.

One of my favorite things to do is one-on-one discipleship. I love the aha moments and the tough talks. I love doing it because it is not only helping someone else, it helps me grow. Spiritual maturity doesn’t come from sitting and listening to the pastor on Sunday morning, spiritual maturity comes from trying and failing then trying again. It’s not what we know that makes us spiritually mature, spiritual maturity comes from practice. And we need some one to practice with.

Anyone can be holier-than-thou from a distance, but when you are reading and memorizing scripture with another person you have to check your ego at the door. Sure people can lie about what they are doing, but those times catch up to people and the truth comes out in the end.  You can hide  in a small group a lot  longer than you can in a one-on-one setting.

Things you need to know about Discipling:

  • You don’t have to be perfect to start. Most discipling relationships are mutual learning not teacher to student.
  • You need to let the pastor know what you’re doing.  Don’t start something behind the pastors back.  Most pastors are going to give you their blessing and pray for your success.  I honestly can’t imagine a pastor who wouldn’t want people to grow spiritually.
  • You need a plan. Here’s one: buy a book, I like Greg Ogden’s two books, Discipleship Essentials and Leadership Essentials.  I have used these books for the last three years and they are really good for discipling not only others, but yourself.  These books make you think and wrestle with what being a Christian is and how to live that out.

A final thought from Paul to Timothy:

If you teach these things to other followers, you will be a good servant of Christ Jesus. You will show you have grown up on the teachings about our faith and on the good instructions you have obeyed (CEV)

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Discipleship Begins With Community

October 4, 2011 By 7 Comments

If you have been a Christian any length of time you have heard the bible verse about us being a body of believers and Jesus is the head of the body (Romans 12:4-5).  That is where discipleship is birthed.  The community setting where Jesus draws each of us together is what makes discipleship so important to believers.  The community helps to build up the body as a whole and then helps strengthen the individual parts who intern make the body stronger.

Churches aren’t meant to make leaders.  Leaders come from discipling new believers  to maturity, not teaching leadership course to people who don’t know Christ very well or stealing leaders from other churches.  That is just a fact.  I love reading leadership books that talk about all the good leaders being somewhere else and how they need to be persuaded to come help us.  While that can be a quick fix and help now, what happens when they are stolen by another church?  Mature leaders who have been discipled in your church will stay with you through thick and thin, and they will make more disciples as they grow.

The church community must be mature.  This is where many churches are struggling today, and it comes from trying to use programs to disciple our people, not people to disciple our people.  We fell into the trap of the quick fix and the pastor who is hands off, and new believers we left to fend for themselves at worse, or given DVD curriculum at best.   We must relearn disciple making and begin to disciple one-on-one.  You know you have a core group of believer you can work with to start the ball rolling.  Two things I recommend, one is Transforming Discipleship: Making Disciples a Few at a Time <Affiliate Link>this is the book that lays the groundwork for making disciples.  The other is Discipleship Essentials: A Guide to Building Your Life in Christ  this is the workbook to go along with the book. Both of these are by Greg Ogden and are great for starting a disciple making program.  I also believe we should not reinvent the wheel.  If something is good and it works, then use it.

 

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Being Friendly To Others

October 3, 2011 By 2 Comments

It’s not hard to imagine a Christian that is unfriendly.  I have been unfriendly when it was not what I should have done.  Craig Groeschell writes in his book WEIRD <Affiliate Link>about a man who chastised a visitor for wearing clothes he thought were inappropriate.  While most people reading this cringe, it does happen, and I bet it happens more than you think.  Being friendly to others especially visitors to our churches is something we should strive for even if they don’t believe what we do.

Coming from the southern United States we have a saying about being friendly to people we don’t agree with,

It’s easier to catch flies with honey than with vinegar.

If you are hard and judgmental to people you disagree with, you will do nothing but reinforce their belief that Christians are jerks. It wasn’t people outside the church that Jesus was harsh with, it was the church leaders that Jesus scolded.  He was friendly and welcoming to those that did not fit into the culture of the day.  He had dinner with the sinners and tax collectors, and instead of judging them he welcomed them and judged the leaders who said he was doing wrong.

Jesus talked to the woman at the well, who was not only a woman normal men of that day would not talk to, she was also a different nationality the Jews thought were dirty and hated.  Jesus loved her, and was very straight forward with her about her sin.  He gave her real life, but none of this could have ever happened if he closed his mind to people his culture said was less than human.

If you grew up hearing that God was waiting to strike you down, and punish you for anything bad you did, I want to urge you to read the New Testament and see the love Jesus showed.  Being friendly is a trait we should all have as Christians and not just on Sunday Morning.

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What You See

September 28, 2011 By 5 Comments
Advertising on Times Square, New York City
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We are bombarded with information and advertisements.  what you see many times is a blur, unless the ad is about something you are looking for.  Marketers know that you see what you want to. If you set up a website and want to advertise you know that what you see is not what others looking at you site see.  In Your life, you see what you want to. If you believe your boss is a jerk you will see everything he or she does as a behavior leading you to know that you are right. If you believe a certain stereotype about another race, everything you see or hear will steer you toward the deepening of that belief. If you believe all poor people are lazy then that is what you will see.

We are called not to have these general beliefs about anyone.  We are called to love not our friends but also our enemies. Every day I hear Christians say they hate the leaders in congress, or hate the president (present or former you chose). We can’t hate, we must love people whether we agree with them or not. 1 Corinthians 13 says:

  4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

One of the first steps you must take is freeing yourself of beliefs of other people and cultures that are destructive to your growth as a Christian. We have become so caught up in the political name calling we see each night on our news or hear on our radios that we have carried it into our Christian churches, and it must stop. Defend your message, but you must still love the other messenger. When a Christian makes a derogatory statement about someone they disagree with they hurt the church as a whole not the person they are attacking.

We have been called to a higher standard and we have lost site of that. Change the way you think and you can change the way you see things. Paul tells us this in Romans 12

2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Love your neighbor as yourself.

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Do You Honor God?

September 6, 2011 By 9 Comments

We live in a time in America where we are lead to believe that we are a Christian nation.  People stand up for what they believe are Christian values.  A recent ABC News Poll shows that 83% of all Americans say they are Christian.  But are we really?

The book of Isiah says this about some people who said they knew God.

And so the Lord says, “These people say they are mine.  They honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.  And their worship of me is nothing but man-made rules learned by rote.”

Have we just learned to honor God with our lips?  Have we just been told so long that we are Christians that we just accept that and say that is what we believe?

This is actually a hard concept to grasp because so many people believe that being a christian means so many different things.  Some think that we just believe and then Jesus just takes over.  They know we will still sin but that is because we can’t help it.  Others believe we are changed immediately and sin is a thing of the past.  Some believe that we should give everything away while others believe Jesus will help us acquire more if we just believe.

I personally think that if you are Christian you will be in church at least most Sundays of the year to learn from other believers. Others believe they are Christians (my father) and have not darkened the door to a church in decades except for funerals and weddings.

One thing I am sure of, we are all different and we are not going to force each other to change our beliefs by yelling and pointing out flaws.  I can never tell my father I think he is wrong, because he believes he is right. I also don’t think it is our job. we need to talk to and love people, and let the Holy Spirit do the rest.  God finishes the verse in Isiah with this,

Because of this, I will once again astound these hypocrites with amazing wonders.  The wisdom of the wise will pass away, and the intelligence of the intelligent will disappear.”

I’m not going to answer the question.  I know He can change hearts and minds better than we can.  So you and I just need to Honor God the way we think is best and continue to learn from Him in all we do.

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Christian Discipleship

August 8, 2011 By 11 Comments

A Christian Is A Disciple

I can only speak from my experience, and it has been that many people feel there is a difference between being a follower of Christ and being a disciple of Christ. From what I have read in the bible, and many others more scholarly than me, there is no difference. Jesus put it this way,

“If any of you want to be my followers, you must forget about yourself. You must take up your cross each day and follow me.24 If you want to save your life, you will destroy it. But if you give up your life for me, you will save it. 25 What will you gain, if you own the whole world but destroy yourself or waste your life”

If you are a follower of Jesus then you are a disciple of Jesus. We are all different and discipleship looks different to all of us. But we must be active in our life with Christ not just showing up on Sunday.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer put it this way,

“cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline. communion without confession. Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ.”

Take those words to heart. Don’t just go to church, live like you believe what Christ said. Live differently because you have the Holy spirit dwelling in you. Live differently because Jesus died so you may live.

Bridging The Gap

For many Christians, the goal of holiness seems like as much of a gap as their distance from God before their faith in Christ.

They try and try to change their lives but they keep falling back into the same routine of discouragement. Many times they have no one to walk with them, no one who has been there before to come along side them and guide them along the way.

That is where discipleship comes in.

As Christians we are supposed to be on a road together. Growing together in Christ Jesus. Not just show up at church on Sunday and say, “Hi how ya’ doing today” kinda walk, but get down in the mud and pull each other up kinda walk.

Discipleship is walking along side someone who needs you, and helping them grow. In the process, you will grow as well in your walk with Christ, and be open to many more people who need you to speak into their lives.

Don’t Look Up First

You have read pages on discipleship before I am sure. If you are like me I always want to find someone to Disciple me. Someone to help me grow in my walk. Let me encourage you to not look for someone to be a Paul to you first. Look for someone you can be a Paul to.

As you begin to pray and look for people to disciple you will see people in a different light. When you start don’t try to get deeply theological. Just letting people know you care can make a world of difference in someones life.

Be Yourself

If there is one key to discipling it is being yourself. Be transparent with the person. Don’t try to act like you have all the answers if you don’t even have all the questions. People know when you’re being phony and that will turn more people off faster than you not knowing the answer to something.

Pace Yourself

Don’t try to meet everyones needs all at once. You will have a bigger impact if you focus on one or two people than you will if you focus on five or six or ten. If you build up two people for a year, then you each begin to build up two the next year and so on the numbers begin to multiply rapidly. Teaching others to teach others and watch them grow.

What Do You Think? Are you Giving Back or Looking For Someone To Disciple You?

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Christians And The Environment

July 8, 2011 By 4 Comments

As Christians we are supposed to be stewards of what God has given us.  Isiah tells what happened when the Israelites forgot that.,

You are in for trouble! You take over house after house and field after field, until there is no room left for anyone else in all the land.

9 But the Lord All-Powerful has made this promise to me:
Those large and beautiful homes will be left empty, with no one to take care of them. 10 Ten acres of grapevines will produce only six gallons of juice, and five bushels of seed will produce merely a half-bushel of grain.

11  You are in for trouble! You get up early to start drinking, and you keep it up late into the night. 12 At your drinking parties you have the music of stringed instruments, tambourines, and flutes. But you never even think about all the Lord has done, 13 and so his people know nothing about him. That’s why many of you will be dragged off to foreign lands. Your leaders will starve to death, and everyone else will suffer from thirst. (Isiah 5:8-13 CEV)

Sometimes things just stick out when we read the bible.  This was very poignant today because it speaks to what the Israelites did to the land then, and what we are doing to the land today.  I’m not a guy who sits around worrying, wondering, or protesting about the environment.  I do like the alternative energy ideas because I want to go off the grid in a few years, but that is a whole different story.

I grew up in rural Arkansas so almost everyone I knew was involved in farming in some way.  I hunted and fished and my father taught me how we should act toward the environment if we want to be able to hunt and fish forever.   I have seen the bad side.  I’ve seen what happens when a family loses their farm and everything they own because they can’t compete with the big guys. I now live in a city where I watch urban sprawl take out once viable farmland and forests all in the name of progress and the American dream.

When I read this verse from Isiah it made me think of is and what we are doing to the land.  Shipping our waste to other countries, our dirty jobs to Mexico isn’t the answer.  Our leaders  We need to take responsibility for what we buy and what we throw away, because  one day We are going to pay for what we are doing today.

One video I watched got me started on my road to change.  The Story of Stuff made me think about what I buy and what I do with it when I’m done.  The video is 21 minutes long, but is worth the watch.

 Do you think we have a responsibility to take care of the environment?  Do you think Jesus will return before we use it up?  Do you have a better idea than this?

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Seven Lessons I Learned About Tithing

July 6, 2011 By 1 Comment

If you have been in church for any length of time you have heard two things said about money:

1. “God owns everything” or “It all Belongs to God”

and

2. “Every Christian should tithe” or some derivative of that.

If it all belongs to God then what are we really supposed to do with it?
I have heard bible scholars and pastors teach on tithing and expound on how they had never missed a tithe since they started tithing at 8 years old.  As Pharisaic as that sounds all of them seemed quite pleased at their accomplishments.  I can not give you that same speech.  I have missed many tithes and obviously have robbed God on each and every one of those occasions (Malachi 3).  I have however learned some very good things by not tithing many of which can never be learned from faithfully giving ten percent.
1. The Israelites were required to give more than 10%.  You heard it here first.  If we really want to follow the letter of the law we should give 20% at least.  Numbers 18:21 specifies a tithe to support the Levites who could own no land,

Ten percent of the Israelites’ crops and one out of every ten of their newborn animals belong to me. But I am giving all this to the Levites as their pay for the work they do at the sacred tent.

However, Deuteronomy 14:22ff says that they should set aside 10% more to bring to the harvest festival and eat that there.

People of Israel, every year you must set aside ten percent of your grain harvest. Also set aside ten percent of your wine and olive oil, and the first-born of every cow, sheep, and goat. Take these to the place where the Lord chooses to be worshiped, and eat them there. This will teach you to always respect the Lord your God.

I am saying this to over emphasize the point that we can get carried away trying to follow the rules and laws of do it or you’re not a good Christian.

2. Not giving becomes easy. I don’t have a biblical reference for this but I can tell you from my experience.  If you decide to budget giving out of your life it becomes very easy to stop completely.

3. Giving becomes easy.   Just like not giving can become easy, giving can become easy.  When we really understand that it’s not ours we can begin to seek God’s guidance about how he wants us to spend his money.  I think this is what Paul was talking about in 2 Corinthians 9:7-8.  He says they need to make up their minds what to give but God can give it back to them.  If you make up your mind to give 5% then give 5% regularly.  When you get a raise then up it and see what happens.

4. Listen to God.  I fully believe that we would see an increase in giving from Christians if they would really pray and ask god what they should do with their money.  When I finally shut up and started to listen I learned how much Jesus cared about what I was doing, and what I had.  Here is a Good series from Life Church about that.

5. Don’t blame the Church because you don’t have money.  The church did not ask you to go out and buy the car you drive or the house you live in.  God does not want you to have all of your earthly desires,, he wants you to have all of Him.  I missed this point very far and kept acquiring more stuff.  Well I now have about half that stuff and am trying not to acquire more.  Nothing on this earth can take the place of God in our lives.

6. Blame The Government.  You give a full third of your money to the government every year and then complain because the church is asking you to give 10%.  Really?  We are so worried about what the government should do we have missed the fact that the church should have been doing it first.  Church is the answer not the government.  I know people that give outrageous amounts of money to political candidates and then accuse the church of trying to con them out of a few dollars.

7. Don’t be bound by 10%.  Just like trusting God to get to the tithe, don’t just do it to be a tither.  Look around and let the Holy Spirit lead you to other giving options.  Shelters, charities, missions, children’s outreach.  Any any number of opportunities that are around all of us.

Let the Holy Spirit lead you.  Listen to where you are being led and give to your trust point.  Let Jesus pull you out of your comfort zone and see where he is working.

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Be A Friend To Your Spouse

June 8, 2011 By 3 Comments

I know this blog isn’t about marriage, but part of our discipleship is about talking about issues of the day.  We have recently had a governor and a senator admit to cheating on their spouses.  One was hidden for years, and one was hidden for about fifteen minutes.  I think we are becoming immune to these kind of acts because we are seeing it more and more often, and not just in the news.

My wife is my best friend.  We joke that the priest who married us told us we shouldn’t get married because we are so different.  His test was so wrong it’s even funnier because we are really a lot alike.  We like the same foods, sports, and activities, and we try to do stuff that we have in common as much as possible.  Beyond that, I think having the same value system enables us to focus on what we believe God is calling us to do.

I think for guys, just being friends is harder than it is for the women.  We don’t know what to say or how to listen a lot of the time.  **CONFESSION** I caught myself doing this last night when I was watching a documentary on PBS.  I saw her lips moving, but there was nothing coming out. I Was Not Listening To My Wife.  Anyway.  Being friends requires us to set aside time to listen.  This is done preferably not in a setting with televisions or at least turned off televisions. Make an effort to be a friend to your spouse if you are newly married, or get to know your spouse again if it has been a while and maybe you forgot how good of friends you were.

Don’t let the green grass on the other side of the fence draw you away.  You married your spouse for a reason.  Dig down and find that reason again.

  • Find what You Have in common
  • Be Spiritual together
  • Put some of your needs aside
  • Talk
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Spend Half Your Time On Self Improvement

June 6, 2011 By 4 Comments

Do you spend half your time on self-improvement?

We all know this, but do we believe it. John Maxwell gave us the mantra, “Leaders are readers.”  Many other Christian leaders have come along and reiterated the process by which we all grow.  In Roman 12:1-2 the apostle Paul tells us,

Dear friends, God is good. So I beg you to offer your bodies to him as a living sacrifice, pure and pleasing. That’s the most sensible way to serve God. Don’t be like the people of this world, but let God change the way you think. Then you will know how to do everything that is good and pleasing to him. (CEV)

In the NIV it say, “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”  Our self-improvement does not come from ourselves.  Many of us believe this transformation takes place over the course of our Christian walk.  Through the Holy Spirit we are changed to be more like Christ here on Earth.  But in order for this transformation to take place we have to spend time with Christ in prayer and reading in the bible.  In his book Courageous Leadership Bill Hybels quotes an article by Dee Hock who says we should spend 50% of our time leading ourselves (p183).  Bill Hybels said he was stunned when he read it, and I was stunned when I read what he wrote, so I imagine you may be a little stunned when you read this.  So what do we do?

After unpacking that statement over the last month, I began to look at it in the light of the disciples.  As leaders in the 21st century we spend a lot of time doing busy work. I follow a lot of the “Church Leaders” of today on twitter and they spend a lot of time just tweeting about what they do. The disciples spent their time learning from Jesus, and trying to get a grasp around what he was doing and saying.  We spend most of our time either trying to look like we are important, or trying to be like other leaders of today and not Jesus.

The disciples asked questions. We believe that we have expensive college degrees, so we know everything.  These university degrees allow us to hold the positions we have and to tell others what to do.  Most of our power comes from our positions and not from Jesus.  We need to learn from the disciples who in Acts 6 put others in charge of waiting tables while they devoted themselves to learning and sharing the word. We have to spend time away from the crowds to lead the crowds.

We can choose one of two roads. The easy one that says, “I am a leader and these people will follow me.” or the one that says, “I am a leader and I need to learn to lead myself first.” The road we choose will determine how much time we spend letting Jesus develop us as leaders.

 

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